In all ventures, there is usually a planning and waiting time. A student who has just passed the post-primary entrance examination does not just rush to the school he is admitted into. He waits till the day of resumption. The period between the time he got the notice of his admission and the actual date of resumption is for planning and preparation. During this period, the successful candidate does not have a right to use the school library. Neither does he have access to the dining hall. He does not enjoy the privileges of a student because in actual sense he is not a student just yet.
The same goes for a job seeker. He does not necessarily resume work the very day he receives the letter of appointment. He will be given a date of resumption. The period between the time he got the letter of appointment and the actual date he resumes duty is for planning and making necessary preparations. During this period, the prospective worker is not allowed to use the company’s lunch ticket, or ride in the company’s car. He does not enjoy the privileges of a staff of that company.
The story is not too different in marriage. Having known the will of God in marriage, and gotten the sister’s / brother’s consent to your proposal, you do not get married immediately. There is a waiting, praying, and planning time. That time is called the period of courtship. Remember that if you fail to plan you are planning to fail. You shall not fail in JESUS Mighty name amen. During this period, you cannot enjoy the benefits of marriage. This is your waiting time. What do you do during courtship? This is what we will be considering in this chapter.
GOAL HARMONISATION:
Every right thinking person, especially a Christian, must have a propelling goal. Note that even when two people have agreed to come together as a couple, they still have their individual goals and aspirations and this cannot be discarded because of the union. The time of courtship is the period in which both of you will come together and share these goals. The goals might be spiritual, social, academic or physical. Both of you bring your goals together and harmonise them so much so that they will become family goals.
This harmonisation of goals doesn’t happen overnight. It takes some time for this to be achieved. There are rules to observe as you harmonise your different goals.
Genesis 2:18 says,
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Genesis 2:18 KJV
This verse of Scripture must be your focus in planning. And one fact made clear in the verse is that both of you are coming together as companions not competitors.
The period of courtship is the time of discussing, sharing and examining how best you can both fulfil your goals and ideals in life. You examine how both of you can thread the same path with the least friction. You consider how you will be help-meet to one another. This is the first goal harmonisation that will be done.
Psalm 144:13 reads:
“That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store:…”
This borders on the harmonisation of your different professions. If the wife-to-be works in a different town from where her husband-to-be works; during courtship, they both think of how to harmonise the locations of their places of work. If either of them is engaged in a profession that will not help in fulfilling the purpose of God in marriage and family goals, both of them will discuss what to do during courtship.
Again, you must understand that marriage is intended for PLEASURE, and so this must be discussed during courtship. God wants you to enjoy your marriage. Marriage is not a curse. In the eighteenth verse of Proverbs chapter five God’s word declares, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”
Proverbs 5:18 KJV
You must harmonise this purpose during courtship too.
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT MONTH
Till then, be Holy.
“That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God.”
Numbers 15:40 KJV
Shalom
Mrs Angelinah Olubunmi Peters
JESUS Is Alive In me
