Hiya , it’s me again. So next Sunday is valentine’s day and still no boo, I guess it’s time to give up hope (sad face), being single on Val’s day sucks turtle eggs but I shall not whine about it, big girls don’t whine… baaaaaahhhhhh *in tears* no booooooooo!!!. Last week I tried to cook beans for you guys, I hope you found it delicious, anyways the ingredients to a meaningful life is now on pause as I have a pending dilemma to reply to. So here goes.
“So in my old school I had a friend, a guy (I’m a girl by the way), we chat as normal friends, he had this ex he used to tell me about, he did her wrong and now she hates him. One time, he chatted with her and lied to her that both of us were dating, I didn’t really care because I never thought I’d meet her. He then started showing signs that he likes me but I see him as a friend.
I ended up leaving the school only to find the said girlfriend my bunkmate in my new school, we became friends but I still didn’t tell her anything because I didn’t want to make it awkward between us, she still had feelings for him because she texted him sometime after and then kept asking me what went on between us, I texted the boy and he told me that he told her that exact story. I tried to explain without spoiling his name but it just seems like I’m lying, she’s going to want to believe him, she’s pissed at me right now, what should I do?”
First of all, introduction! (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist) ok seriously, at the risk of sounding condescending (which I’m totally not) it seems you guys are pretty young but I will not make the mistake of taking with levity what is seemingly plaguing you, so I’m going to break it down the way I understand it.
Guy wrongs girlfriend
Guy uses you as cover-up in the process
Guy might be falling for you
You meet girlfriend in your new school
You and girlfriend are bunkmates
Girlfriend wants boy back
Guy maintains cover-up, implicating you in the process
Girlfriend of course doesn’t believe your side of the story
Well, if my interpretation of the situation is correct, then let me give you some reality checks mano-a-mano (or girl to girl, if you prefer)
1. I’m going to let you in on a secret; girls are not nice when it comes to someone else taking their toys away from them (remember Taylor swift’s better than revenge?), forget twitter feminism, it’s like all those age old rules that are not written laws but they’re no less powerful, we don’t like to share our toys unless we’re completely done with them. Any perceived threat to take it from her (notice I used perceived meaning it might not even be a real threat) will be met by equal resistance – don’t say I said that because I’ll deny it when the feminists come a calling – so it’s perfectly understandable that she’s reacting that way.
There used to be this guy that I got introduced to, he was a course mate’s ex or so, so anyways me and guy get talking and one thing led to another and we kiss (I remember cause it was the second time and the first time I voluntarily kissed a guy, the first time was in a truth or dare… yeah I know), mind you, I said I kissed him, purely for the experience really, I had no intention of dating him, wasn’t my type. Anyways, girl waltzes back into his life and I think he told her – whatever for, I do not know – about it, that’s how a girl I’ve never said anything more than an hello to in my life strikes up a conversation with me all the while giving me this look like, I know what you did with him, I mean c’mon, it was just a kiss, no need for dramatics!
2. That guy is quite the jerk for making you take the fall for him, I guess at this stage of your life, it’s ok to hold on to friends and you feel protective towards them, but you should start learning to sieve the commensals and parasites from the symbionts, I think he’s quite the leech for not telling his ex the truth and I don’t even see why they’re still talking about the issue if they’ve broken up, it’s quite cowardly to hide behind you when has no part in the matter unless you’re partly guilty. And if he can’t have enough courtesy to keep your integrity intact, I don’t see why you shouldn’t reciprocate his actions, after all he started it.
3. Never ever ever ever ever get roped into someone else’s drama, this advice is for when you are faced with situations like this in the future, don’t ignore it when you’re implicated in a false story, be sure it’s for a person who’d ride or die for you, because those are the only person likely to retract it if the accusation becomes more serious than you thought it would, and for real, those people are fewer than rain in January so really my advice is you don’t even get implicated, these things rarely end up well.
4. Tell the girl the truth, if you really want to be friends with her but if not, just ignore them really, the world has over 7billion people in it, you will never walk alone (I used to like that club once upon a time ago), you’ve got to have more than one friend.
Gloria.
